For Brady, The Answer Is In Hollywood

"Why did they cancel the season? We were gonna win the Super Bowl!"

Something disturbing happened last Sunday. I’m not sure if you heard, but the NFL cancelled the season at 4:00pm. Yup. That’s what happened. There was no game after that. Just a cancelled season. No more football this year. Yeah, that’s the ticket. But, hypothetically, if Goodell hadn’t cancelled the season as I stated above, and, hypothetically, if the Jets and Patriots played, and if such a ludicrous thing as the Jets winning happened, then I’d be writing the following column. Hypothetically speaking, that is.

This didn't happen.

The big question surrounding the New England Patriots following their upset loss to the New York Jets in the Divisional round of the 2010-11 playoffs isn’t regarding a perhaps overrated offensive line, or a defense that was unable to put any pressure on Mark Sanchez. It’s not about the game plan or the curious fake punt.  It wasn’t about Deion Branch shoving his foot in his mouth (no Rex Ryan joke intended) by running his mouth after one catch, then dropping a pivotal pass. Heck, it wasn’t even so much about the 4^th quarter drive more long and deliberate than ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ (and equally unwatchable) Nope. All the talk has been about Tom Brady, superstar quarterback of the Patriots, and his sudden inability to win playoff games.

For the Olivia Dunhams out there who have been living in an alternate universe (or those who just don’t pay that close attention to the NFL), Brady and the Patriots have lost their last three playoff games, two of which they were heavy favorites, and are 5-5 in the playoffs since winning their last Super Bowl in 2005. During this stretch, Brady has underperformed as compared to his regular season totals, more specifically and more memorably the past three playoff runs, in 2007-08, 2009-10, and 2010-11.

How could a quarterback who was once revered for being bigger than the moment and unfazed by the spotlight, suddenly and drastically begin to underachieve in the same situations? Maybe by looking at the career arc of another superstar in their chosen profession, we can find answers. Or at least get an entertaining read.

Like Brady, only slightly less desirable to women.

So, for the next ten minutes or so, let’s say that Tom Brady is the Brad Pitt of the NFL.

And, why not? They’re both huge celebrities. They are both very handsome, wealthy, and popular. They are considered among the elite at their given professions. And they both make nearly as many headlines for stepping out with their women as they do in their work. They both even jilted hot women in favor of their current even hotter women. (Queue Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie hotness debate……now.)

To use a well-worn cliché, “Men want to be them. Women want to be with them.”

But, even beyond the obvious qualities just stated, there are other similarities; eerie similarities. (OK, not that eerie.) For instance, their career arcs are strikingly similar. Both started under the radar, not causing much of a stir in their early years. It wasn’t long before fate stepped in for both men, and brought a streak of major successes, leading both to the top of their profession. But, as personally they thrived, their body of work suffered, and their projects fell short of expectations. They became famous more for who they were rather than what they did. Their hairstyles and fashion became stories within themselves. And, before long, their careers were being called into question. While one man overcame this difficult stretch, redefining his career and reclaiming the satisfaction of a job well done, the other’s future is still to be written. Will their career arcs continue to run parallel? Or, is this the point where they start to veer? Why am I making this so philosophical? And, what conclusions about modern day life can we draw from the strikingly similar balances and decisions both men made? I’m just messing around with that last one.

Confused? Well, let’s reflect on both their careers, step-by-step, and see if we can sort it out.

PITT:

Brad Pitt + Stoner Role = Good

He spent the first five years of his career languishing in uncredited movie roles (AKA glorified extras) and bit parts on TV shows. Then, came “Thelma and Louise” and, in turn, Brad Pitt’s rear end. Women swooned and, of course, immediately, his career began to flourish. He followed this up by playing supporting characters with a strong cast and crew around him, in films like “A River Runs Through It”, “Kalifornia”, “True Romance”, “Interview With The Vampire”, “Legends of the Fall”, “Se7en” and “Twelve Monkeys”. (After writing this list, I was more impressed with his early work than before I conceived the idea for this column.) While he was prominent in most and very good in all these films, he was never the unequivocal star of the picture. It was perfect harmony, but while each piece was necessary, Pitt was the most prominent, like Eazy E to NWA. He made the most of these roles by utilizing the talent around him as support. By the end of this run, Pitt was a major Hollywood player, able to pick his projects and considered a bankable leading man. (Mind you, he had never actually been a leading man to this point.)

BRADY:

"I am gonna get SO much tail now!"

When he enrolled at the University of Michigan, Brady was 7^th on the depth chart and was so overlooked that he considered transferring. He sat on the bench his freshman and sophomore seasons before beating out Drew Henson (the rare double-failure athlete and a perfect example for style over substance) for the starting spot his final two years. (Though the two split time under center) He was 20-5 as a starter, named an alternate on the Big Ten All-Conference team and won the Citrus and Orange Bowls. Yet he was still a nobody. He was drafted in the 6^th round (199^th overall) by the New England Patriots, and was fourth on the depth chart. By his second season, he was the back-up QB when his Pitt-butt moment came about. Drew Bledsoe suffered a severe injury and Brady took over as starting QB. Head coach Bill Belichick gave him only one responsibility: Don’t turn the football over. With an excellent and overachieving supporting cast, the Patriots, with Brady under center, went on to pull off one of the biggest Super Bowl upsets of all time, beating the St. Louis Rams. With gutsy performances amid a blizzard against the Raiders in the playoffs and, again, in the Super Bowl, Brady brought the Lombardi Trophy to New England and the Super Bowl MVP trophy to his house, and he suddenly emerged as the face of the Patriots, the Super Bowl Champion Patriots. Tom Brady had become a star.

PITT:

Pitt + ski mask + Irish accent = not so good

What followed were some decent films, but all-in-all you’d forget them like you were Guy Pearce in ‘Memento’; movies like “Sleepers”, “The Devil’s Own”,  “Seven Years In Tibet”, and “Meet Joe Black”. While he starred with the likes of Anthony Hopkins and Harrison Ford, he played the major role in each of these films, the center of attention, the main dude. Did the movies make money? Except “Sleepers”, yes. They were all mild successes, but they were all, undeniably, forgettable.  I’ll bet you had forgotten about at least one of them already. And, I’ll bet you will have forgotten them again before you’re done reading this.

BRADY:

The following season, the Patriots and Brady stumbled like Snooki on a bad day at the beach. Brady took a bigger role in the offense, eschewing the safe passing game for a riskier version, taking more chances, and, in turn, making more mistakes. He threw 28 touchdown passes but posted a still-career worst QB Rating of 85.7 and threw a career worst 14 interceptions. (a number which would actually be great for most QBs). The Patriots finished the season 9-7, tied for first in the AFC East, but lost the tie-breaker to the Miami Dolphins. Brady and the Patriots went from the Super Bowl to playing golf in January. Although a winning record is an achievement many NFL teams struggle to do in any given season, this was a sub-par performance for the defending Super Bowl champs, and for a newly recognized star.

PITT:

Next for Pitt were “Fight Club” and “Snatch”, two films more along the lines he was making prior. Again, he was not the major star, but played the most recognizable character in both memorable films. These two films made Pitt perhaps the most famous actor in Hollywood. He was the star and movies would be made, marketed and sold around him. The success of a film would now rest on him. If Brad Pitt’s name were above the film’s title in the marquee, people would see it, and would expect it to be great, or at least better than a Pauley Shore picture.

BRADY:

"Holy Cow! Now I can get super-
model tail. I just hope my super-model
doesn't make me get a hairstyle like
a pre-pubescent popstar."

The next two years would arguably be the greatest in Brady’s career. Although later he would post considerably better overall statistics, the QB of the Patriots enjoyed the most successful run of his career. In 2003, Brady and the Patriots won their final twelve games to finish the regular season 14-2. He had a career best game in the regular season finale against the Buffalo Bills and would finish the season as the runner-up in the Most Valuable Player voting. (Albeit Steve McNair won it…tied with Peyton Manning, but still, Steve McNair.) He would cap the season by leading the Patriots to their second Super Bowl victory, claiming his second Super Bowl MVP award in the process. 2004 found further success, as the Patriots rattled off six more victories, setting a NFL record with 18 consecutive regular season victories. (There were 21 straight wins including playoffs) Brady tied his then career high with 28 TDs, made his second Pro-Bowl and the 2004 season ended exactly the same as the season before it, with a Patriots Super Bowl victory. Brady didn’t win the MVP of the Super Bowl either (Deion Branch did) but no one would have argued if he did. After this run, football pundits around the country began the debate, “Who’s the best QB in the NFL, Brady or Manning?” (To date, there was no argument. Manning was universally considered better.) And, Patriots fans around the world started wondering when Brady would just start playing in a Superman uniform, red cape and all.

PITT:

Pitt + Greek mythology = bad.
(though women may disagree)

Here are his major film roles that followed “Fight Club” and “Snatch”: “The Mexican”, “Spy Game”, “Troy”, “Mr. and Mrs. Smith”. He also starred in the “Ocean’s Eleven” franchise, but I’m excluding that series here as the selling point of those films were the ensemble cast of Hollywood’s elite. When you make movies with George Clooney, Matt Damon, Al Pacino, Julia Roberts, Andy Garcia, and Catherine Zeta-Jones, the draw is the novelty. Not that they were all that memorable. When I saw the first film, I couldn’t remember plot points ten minutes after it was over. And, that’s not a joke.  But, the four films mentioned in the first sentence are unquestionably among his worst four of his career. At that point, the writer, director, cinematographer, and editor became background noise. The focus was solely on Pitt and, perhaps his one main co-star. (Julia Roberts in “The Mexican”, Robert Redford in “Spy Game” and Angelina Jolie in “Mr. and Mrs. Smith.”) You can make the argument that “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” wasn’t terrible, and, truthfully it’s kind of a guilty pleasure type of film. But, when the expectations are considered, this film was entirely underwhelming.

BRADY:

Here are the results of the seasons following the back-to-back Super Bowl victories: 2005: Brady led the Patriots to a 10-6 regular season, though he tied a career high in interceptions, but they lost in the divisional round to Broncos 27-13 as he threw two picks. 2006: Brady did not make the Pro-Bowl but led the Patriots to a regular season record of 12-4, but New England blew an 18 point lead in AFC Championship game, losing to the Colts after Brady threw an interception in the last minute. 2007: Brady had his best regular season and the best statistical season of his career, setting an NFL record with 50 touchdown passes, earning the MVP trophy. This was his “Oceans Eleven” season, as his team was loaded with talented offensive personnel, thanks to the additions of Wes Welker and Randy Moss. The Patriots ended the regular season without a loss, 16-0, before struggling their way through two playoff wins. At 18-0, they went into the Super Bowl as heavy favorites over the NFC Champion New York Giants. However, the Giants pulled off the upset, slowing down the best offense in NFL history and holding them to 14 points. In the end, the Giants won, 17-14. Just like “Oceans Eleven”, the season was fun, but by the end, it was forgettable. 2008: Brady’s season ends eight minutes into the first game as he tears ligaments in his knee. The Patriots still go 11-5 with back-up QB Matt Cassel, but did not make the playoffs. 2009: Assisted by a game where Brady threw five touchdowns in a quarter (I was there!), he threw 28 TDs again, and led the Patriots to a 10-6 record. However, the season ended again in disappointment as the Patriots lost at home in the Wild Card game against the Baltimore Ravens, Brady throwing three interceptions and losing a fumble, his worst playoff performance to date. 2010: Brady had his second best statistical season, with 36 TDs and only 4 Interceptions for the regular season. The team went 14-2 and was universally considered the favorite to win the Super Bowl. But, during their first game in the playoffs, in the Divisional round, Brady and the Patriots again fell short, losing as 8 ½ point favorites to the New York Jets in what I now refer to as Cluster Effing New York, Part Two. (You can guess what Part One is. If not, I’ll give you a three-word hint, David Effing Tyree.)

Cluster Eff Part One

PITT:

Pitt + Tarrantino + Nazi scalping = really effing good

After a series of underachieving films, Pitt went back to what made him famous; working with highly regarded crews and taking quirkier roles rather than the leading man shlock he’d been putting out previously. The career shift re-vaulted Pitt’s status as an actor, and he began making very good films again, starring in the ensemble piece “Babel” and the low-budget but widely lauded “The Assasination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford”. After these two films, he worked with three of the most acclaimed directors working in Hollywood today, starring in Joel and Ethan Coen’s “Burn After Reading”, Wes Anderson’s “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” and Quentin Tarantino’s “Inglorious Basterds”. After this five film run, Pitt is once again atop the world of acting, and is being recognized more for his work than his private life. His upcoming films include Terrence Malick’s “Tree of Life” where he’ll co-star with Sean Penn, “Moneyball”, a sure-to-be quirky film, and “Cogan’s Trade”, rumored to be starring Javier Bardem, Sam Rockwell, Mark Ruffalo, and Casey Affleck, all men known more as actors than stars. It would appear that the current upward spiral Brad Pitt is on will continue for at least another two years.

BRADY:

The rest of Brady’s story remains unwritten. However, the Patriots have a young core of players, particularly on defense, including Jerod Mayo, Brandon Meriweather, and Devin McCourty. They have a fine, young duo at running back in ‘The Lawfirm’ Benjarvis Green-Ellis, and Danny ‘Teen Wolf’ Woodhead. Both lines have solid foundations, and the two rookie tight ends, Aaron Hernandez and Rob Gronkowski could end up being the best tight end combo in NFL history. They also have two picks in each of the first three rounds and, of course, one of the greatest NFL coaches of all time, Bill Belichick at the helm.

However, if the Patriots are to win another Super Bowl (or three), Tom Brady will need to rely on these guys more, take the pressure off himself, and allow his supporting cast and director (coaching staff) to shine in the brightest lights, much as Brad Pitt has done with his last series of films. If he can manage to take that pressure off himself and go back to the guy who played efficiently, with nerves of steel, then he, too, can make a Brad Pitt-esque comeback, and once again hoist the Lombardi Trophy high above his head.

Because three picutres of Brady hoisting
the Lombardi Trophy isn't enough.

Because, quite frankly, five years without one is enough. (That, too, is no joke. However, it is a poignant statement on where the expectations of the Boston sports fan now stands. Imagine that in 2000, it had been 15 years since the Celtics won, 81 since the Sox, and the Patriots had yet to pop their Lombardi Trophy cherry. Since then, the Celtics won once and went to the Finals another, the Sox won two World Series and the Pats won three Super Bowls, appearing in a fourth. When you add it up, that’s SIX championships and eight championship game appearances in ten years….after ZERO wins and three appearances any Boston fan would love to forget in the previous fifteen. You’d think I’d remember those lean years and be thankful for the last decade. But, if I were, I wouldn’t be a true sports fan. Sports fandom is the average Joe’s one socially acceptable forum to be gluttonous, unless that average Joe’s name is Joey Chesnut, that is. So, I’m gluttoning up. Win the damned thing in 2012, ya friggin’ bums! And if the Sox and Celts want to win in ’11, that would be mighty fine of you as well.)