For Brady, The Answer Is In Hollywood

"Why did they cancel the season? We were gonna win the Super Bowl!"

Something disturbing happened last Sunday. I’m not sure if you heard, but the NFL cancelled the season at 4:00pm. Yup. That’s what happened. There was no game after that. Just a cancelled season. No more football this year. Yeah, that’s the ticket. But, hypothetically, if Goodell hadn’t cancelled the season as I stated above, and, hypothetically, if the Jets and Patriots played, and if such a ludicrous thing as the Jets winning happened, then I’d be writing the following column. Hypothetically speaking, that is.

This didn't happen.

The big question surrounding the New England Patriots following their upset loss to the New York Jets in the Divisional round of the 2010-11 playoffs isn’t regarding a perhaps overrated offensive line, or a defense that was unable to put any pressure on Mark Sanchez. It’s not about the game plan or the curious fake punt.  It wasn’t about Deion Branch shoving his foot in his mouth (no Rex Ryan joke intended) by running his mouth after one catch, then dropping a pivotal pass. Heck, it wasn’t even so much about the 4^th quarter drive more long and deliberate than ‘Eyes Wide Shut’ (and equally unwatchable) Nope. All the talk has been about Tom Brady, superstar quarterback of the Patriots, and his sudden inability to win playoff games.

For the Olivia Dunhams out there who have been living in an alternate universe (or those who just don’t pay that close attention to the NFL), Brady and the Patriots have lost their last three playoff games, two of which they were heavy favorites, and are 5-5 in the playoffs since winning their last Super Bowl in 2005. During this stretch, Brady has underperformed as compared to his regular season totals, more specifically and more memorably the past three playoff runs, in 2007-08, 2009-10, and 2010-11.

How could a quarterback who was once revered for being bigger than the moment and unfazed by the spotlight, suddenly and drastically begin to underachieve in the same situations? Maybe by looking at the career arc of another superstar in their chosen profession, we can find answers. Or at least get an entertaining read.

Are You Ready For A Letdown?

The title to this column is not a reference directly to the New York Jets and their inevitable letdown after all the talk and hype, and their “how you like me now!” performance against the Patriots in the Divisional round. Even as Gang Green manufactures some trash talk, as if it were a plastic cog desperately needed to make sure their machine runs correctly. However, I do see a massive letdown in their immediate future. But, to the disdain of Rex Ryan and his team, this is about much more than just the Jets.

Nope. The title is in reference to the Conference Championship week as a whole.

The hype machine, better known as ESPN (along with the other NFL backers, Showtime, CBS and Fox), will tell you that this coming weekend is going to be ripe with nail-biting games and exhilarating playoff action. They are telling you that this is must-watch television; that if you step out for a beer, you’ll probably miss something legendary, something your friends will be talking about for years to come. You’ll be an outcast in the circles of NFL fandom. So, don’t you dare miss a moment of the action. And, that’s not even taking into consideration the NFL Network, which has been selling the excitement twenty-four hours a day, literally.

Keep in mind, this is their job. They have to sell you on these games. They’ve got Zuckerberg money riding on it. Between the coverage on the networks, their pre-game shows, ESPN’s pre-game show, their post-game show, hundreds of hours of Sports Center, NFL Live, and Showtime’s Inside the NFL, the networks covering these games and asking for millions from their advertisers to do so, and they need you to watch these games.

I’ll be the first to tell you; you’re in for another Capone’s vault opening.

Thank You, Antonio Cromartie

(and thank you to my cousin, Brendon Willis, for inspiring this idea, even if I took your idea and mutated it into a monster)

I’ve always felt the football fan in me was missing something. I could never figure it out. I tried gambling. It was fun and lucrative until the salary cap era brought along parity and the ability for crap-hounds to cover spreads on any given week. I also have two fantasy football teams that allow for my inner-stat-geek to rise to the surface and not be mocked by other men. My favorite team appeared in their first Super Bowl before I was a teenager and has won three since. I got to watch my favorite player evolve from a cog in a championship winning locomotive to the conductor of the same train. I should have it all. Yet something was missing. I just didn’t know what it was.

But like Neo when he took the red pill, the answer I had been seeking came rushing to me faster than the ground rushed toward Johnny Utah after he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. (Yep. Two Keanu Reeves references in one sentence.)

It's hard to hate a guy who makes

good television, which explains Charlie

Sheen being the highest paid actor on TV

I was missing a team to hate. With the Red Sox, I have the Yankees, with the Celtics, the Lakers, and with UConn basketball, there's Duke. A nemesis is the wasabi to a favorite team's sushi. I tried to hate the Colts, but can anyone really hate Peyton Manning? He’s just so damned dopey looking, and he makes good commercials. Tony Dungy? Too much of a good guy. I also tried the Steelers, but I have too many friends that are Steeler fans and they build their program the right way, with smart drafting and player development. Besides they had Cowher and his mighty chin at the sidelines for so long (before replacing him with Omar Epps. That guy is talented. I loved him in 'Juice'.) I kind of hate the Giants, but that’s only because they like to point out how they ended the Patriots perfect season without admitting that they won it on the flukiest play in the history of the Super Bowl. But, the Pats only play the Giants every four years, so it’s hard to build a good, solid, lasting hatred for them.