A few days later, we played again. This time, when she asked for extra rolls, I said “No,” and that “It was against the rules.” This ignited a fury in her I had only seen while turning off “Yo Gabba Gabba” and telling her it’s bedtime. She dropped to the floor and bawled her eyes out, kicking the ground and screaming as loud as her little vocal chords would allow. When my wife entered the room and asked her what had happened, she sobbed “Daddy isn’t being fair.” I explained my stance and my wife stared me down like I was an over competitive psychotic who needed to win so badly that he’d crush his daughter’s fragile ego to do so. I explained that she needs to know how to play within the rules; that cheating is no way to win a game. It wasn’t competitive. It was a life lesson.
Understand, I knew my three-year old daughter was not intentionally cheating. She didn’t even realize the concept yet. But, she understood the philosophy of winning at all costs. The idea of a game is to win, and, to her and most children her age, this needs to be accomplished by any means necessary. What I had effectively done by allowing her extra rolls the first time we played, then allowing her to exuberantly celebrate her victory, was to reinforce that belief. Now, it was my responsibility to teach her that winning isn’t always the point of playing a game, especially if you play outside the rules to do so.
I truly hope my children learn that lesson, particularly in the wake of the DJ Hernandez wristband scandal. For those who are not familiar with the story, during an October 22nd high-school football game (note the words “high-school”), a Manchester, CT player lost the wristband outlining his team’s offensive plays. The wristband ended up in the hands of Southington, CT head coach DJ Hernandez, who proceeded to reference the wristband while the Manchester offense was on the field. According to Manchester High School head coach, Marco Pizzoferrato, during a no-huddle play, the Manchester quarterback called out the play, Hernandez looked at the wristband, and relayed the play called to his defense, giving his team an unfair advantage because they knew if the play was a run or a pass and who would be getting the ball.
Hernandez has since admitted to the allegations, although will only confess to using the wristband on one drive, which, ironically, was the drive Manchester scored their lone second half touchdown. The wristband, according to Hernandez, was not used in the subsequent drives, in which, of course, Manchester failed to score. Because, if the action of cheating doesn’t result in success, then it isn’t really cheating, right? However, Manchester had realized after the first drive that their no-huddle plays and audibles were being picked off due to the missing wristband, and stopped utilizing those essential tools. Pizzoferrato has claimed that not using no-huddle or audibles hurt rhythm and quarterback Seth DeValve's ability to make necessary adjustments.
Southington High School has finally suspended their head coach, if only for one game, determining that his “actions did not adhere to the district’s high expectations for all Southington Public School coaches.”
Quite frankly, they didn’t do enough.
Especially if the New Britain Herald’s report, claiming Hernandez threatened that any player who breathed a word about the wristband incident would be cut. With this action, the Southington coach took it to an even uglier level. Not only did he cheat, but, like a mob boss, he threatened his soldiers with football death if they ratted on him. Southington’s self-proclaimed “extensive” investigation either a) discovered this, and ignored it, or b) wasn’t nearly as extensive as they indicated.
What DJ Hernandez did was much more than simply use devious and unethical methods in an attempt to win a high-school football game, then, threatened the kids who looked up to him if they didn’t fall into line. What he did was teach his players that this type of behavior is perfectly acceptable, that winning at any cost is better than losing with integrity. And that blind loyalty is more important than doing what’s right.
If this had been a professional team, or even a college team for that matter, it would be but a blip on the 24-hour news cycle radar. They’re adults, or darn close to it. They can make judgments and decisions for themselves. But, this is high-school. The players are not men. Heck, some or barely more than boys. And, as a former high-school football player, I can tell you that a teenage boy who loves the sport of football looks up to his coach nearly as much as his own father. The values of the coach are instilled in the players they teach. That’s what makes this story so infuriating.
Would it be acceptable for a fourteen year old student to cheat on a history exam? What if their teacher, in a desperate bid to bring up the grade point average of the class, provided the answers for them? What would the consequences be? If you think said educator would be anything less than terminated, you’re being foolish. And, football players generally have an undying admiration for their coaches, a feeling many students do not share with their teachers.
I don’t mean that to condescend teachers, whose role in society is more vitally important than almost anyone else’s. It’s about the relationship, or rather, the perception. To a student, the teacher is seen as an authority figure, someone who provides hurdles that must be, well, hurdled in order to succeed. The teacher is often seen as an adversary to a student. Most students don’t even realize the impact their teachers had on them until well after their formative years. Coaches, however, are seen as allies. They may work your body harder than you dreamt possible, and they may scream and yell things at you that you would never dare repeat to your mother, but on gameday, they are your ally against a common adversary, the other team. You will often hear college and professional players speak in great admiration of their high school coaches. In many student/athlete’s eyes, they are simply held in a different light than the teachers.
Which is why it is so vitally important for coaches to teach their students not only to excel on the field of play, but in the game of life, as well. You hear that said in interviews with college coaches all the time. They always say they want to develop fine, young men, not just fine athletes. Now, how much of that is rhetoric, I’ll let you decide. But, the statement is one-hundred percent accurate. The coach’s job is not only to win games, but to set a proper example for the youngsters they are responsible for, and, in turn, to develop fine young men, not just athletes.
Hernandez failed this point by cheating in the game against Manchester. He further erred by not immediately admitting to his faults, commenting “That game is over. What's in the past is in the past. The Southington football program and the community are first-class, from the faculty, to the water boys, to the coaches, to the football players.” Instead of taking the opportunity to own up to his “mistake”, he instead did what so many men that young athlete’s admire do, lied and covered his ass. I was happy to see he finally owned up to his wrongdoing, even if it was three weeks later, and only after Manchester logged a complaint with the CIAC, the governing body of high school athletics in Connecticut. But, let’s face it, he had no choice. The evidence was in the videotape. I wonder what he would have done had there not been evidence. I wonder if he would have owned up to this, or would he have simply continued the denial. I will never know.
Perhaps I am putting too much emphasis on high-school athletics. Perhaps, termination may be an over-reaction to a situation I find down-right appalling. Maybe Hernandez is helping make the Southington High School student-athletes into fine young people. Maybe this was just a misstep, or a complete lapse in judgment. But, I feel, if you’re inclined to cheat, and you follow through with your inclinations, then that message gets delivered to those who look up to you. And, if you are not severely punished for these actions, then those kids you are molding, will see that cheating isn’t all that bad, even if you’re caught and initially lie about it, you will only get a slap on the wrist, then you’ll be back on your merry way like it never happened.
Cheating in school is not tolerated. Period. Unless, of course, it is during a school sanctioned athletic event, or at least that’s the message Southington High School is sending with their actions. Hernandez needs to be disciplined more severely. A one-game suspension is a joke. If termination is too much, then Hernandez should be suspended for the remainder of the season and the game against Manchester should be forfeited. If that costs the 7-1 Southington Blue Knights a shot at the post-season, so be it. They can look at the guy with the whistle, clipboard, and opponent’s wristband when they’re looking for someone to blame. And, maybe, just maybe, the players will learn that cheating is never acceptable, and the consequences are more than a mild admonishing.
I hope my daughter learned that when I stopped her rampant Yahtzee cheating as well. Though she still beats me regularly.
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