Breaking
News!
Are
there any other two words in the English language that get your heart pumping
quicker than “breaking news”? Breaking news means something happened, something
big, something huge. An assassination attempt? The stock market crashed? Donald
Trump actually got the GOP Nomination? Tom Brady at a speaking engagement days
after the Wells Report was released?
Is
the last one even news, let alone “breaking news”?
According
to many news sources in this country, it is. One Tweet from a local anchor from
a major US city read, “Breaking news. Brady asked about Deflategate tonight.
Declines to comment.” That’s right, Brady not answering a question – which is
to be expected considering the ramifications – was considered “breaking news.”
Breaking news (no air quotes) would have been, “Brady asked about Deflategate,
says “yeah I did it, bitch”, beats reporter to death with his microphone, then
spits in his now empty eye socket.” That’s breaking news. Because he murdered a
man. Even if Brady owned up to it all and cried like he’s listening to Ben
Harper the day after the love of his life dumped him, even if he did all that,
it’s not breaking news. It’s “breaking news.”
Not
to be the get off my yard guy but I remember when news was reserved for the
truly important, meaningful stories. That, and the results of a pig race at a
county fair, if you lived in those more remote places. Then again, in those
days, there were three television news outlets and no internet. One of three
old men in tailored suits would give you the news of the day. There was no CNN,
MSNBC, or FoxNews; no Twitter, Reddit, or Facebook. Three guys. That’s it. No
competition meant no bullshit. No need to draw eyeballs to you. They could
focus on what’s important rather than what’s more popular. Now I sound like
Aaron Fucking Sorkin. See what happens when I get on a rant!
In
2015, news isn’t important to news agencies, or, at least not a priority. Nope,
the priority is to get you, the news consumer, to make one simple action. It
doesn’t matter if you do it by accident or change your mind immediately. All
that matters is that you take this one single action, the same action you are
in the ready position for right now unless this gets more interesting; hand on
the mouse, finger hovering over the left pad, waiting to dive down and…
Click.
